{"id":14089,"date":"2021-05-11T08:25:00","date_gmt":"2021-05-10T22:25:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/zenashapter.com\/blog\/?p=14089"},"modified":"2021-05-05T09:26:07","modified_gmt":"2021-05-04T23:26:07","slug":"people-perceiving-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zenashapter.com\/blog\/people-perceiving-people\/","title":{"rendered":"People Perceiving People"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The other day on Facebook, an old schoolmate gave me a really nice compliment. I haven\u2019t seen or spoken to her since school, so the compliment was based on her memories and online perceptions of me. Still, her genuinely lovely comment threw me because I had no idea she or anyone from school saw me that way \u2013 my memories and perceptions are very different!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

A few years ago at a writing industry picnic, I thought<\/em> I had a wonderful time talking about music with a freelance editor. I told her how much I adored the DJ David Guetta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIs he the one,\u201d she asked me, \u201cwho says his name in every song?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think so,\u201d I replied. \u201cHe\u2019s a DJ, other artists do the singing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo,\u201d she replied. \u201cHe\u2019s the one. I can\u2019t believe you like him!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She moved seats and, the next day, disconnected from me on social media. I had clearly offended her with my music taste.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then again, perhaps not. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

When people make judgments about others, whether valid or invalid, those judgments can often say more about the person making the judgment, rather than the person being judged. Our recollections of events can help us consider what we might have said or done to influence that person\u2019s perception, we might also consider what may have been happening in that<\/em> person\u2019s life to colour the way they perceive the world and those in it. But without more information, it can also remain a mystery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s the same when writing characters in fiction. A few weeks ago I taught my writing workshop \u2018Stories are About Change\u2019 and I was talking about character arcs, how a character might change between the beginning of a story and its end. One thing I advised my students was that, while a main character might have their own perception of events, the characters around them will experience the same story events differently, given their individual perspectives \u2013\u00a0and therefore every character arcs will all evolve differently. The disparity can cause conflict and tension \u2013 great for stories!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not necessarily great in real life, of course, when the different ways people perceive the same event can cause rifts and remoteness. To make matters more complicated, different perceptions of the same event can all still be valid. Thus I might be both as lovely as my old schoolmate thinks and not so lovely, I might be both offensive to editors at picnics and inoffensive \u2013 human beings are complex and can be many things at the same time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

This is why a person’s perception can tell us more about them, than the person they perceive. Thus my old schoolmate becomes someone who sees the best in people; whereas the editor at the picnic tends to see something bad. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s a fascinating topic, and understanding it can help writers portray life with both accuracy and sensitivity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut when creating character arcs,\u201d a student asked me at my workshop, \u201chow many perspectives do we need to consider in telling a story? How many characters?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhoever has a direct effect on your main character\u2019s immediate and current bubble,\u201d I told them. \u201cBecause they will matter most to them. Others not so much. Isn’t it the same in real life?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Indeed, does it really matter how others perceive you, as long as those in your own bubble see you the right way \u2013 as a complex human being who can be both lovely and not so lovely, both offensive and inoffensive, yet still appreciated for who they are? I expect not.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The other day on Facebook, an old schoolmate gave me a really nice compliment. I haven\u2019t seen or spoken to her since school, so the compliment was based on her memories and online perceptions of me. Still, her genuinely lovely comment threw me because I had no idea she or\u2026<\/p>\n

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