{"id":9653,"date":"2014-11-25T16:21:14","date_gmt":"2014-11-25T05:21:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/zenashapter.com\/blog\/?p=9653"},"modified":"2014-11-25T16:21:14","modified_gmt":"2014-11-25T05:21:14","slug":"i-believe-in-magic-protect-their-imaginations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zenashapter.com\/blog\/i-believe-in-magic-protect-their-imaginations\/","title":{"rendered":"I Believe In Magic. Protect Their Imaginations!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Our imaginations have the power to create anything we like. We can invent magical things or experiences that we dream will come true. We can conceive explanations where none are forthcoming and in that way make life exciting and mysterious. We can dream big and in doing so give purpose to our lives. We can also devise our own personal hells by believing the worst possibilities. Either way, it\u2019s our imaginations deciding which type of magic to create, and it\u2019s our imaginations setting the tone of that magic.<\/p>\n

For this reason, I like to hold some things back from my children. I\u2019m happy for them to dream and wonder about some things, and not know the clinical truth, because believing that \u2018anything is possible\u2019 sets you free. So I\u2019m happy for them to imagine what might exist and why.<\/p>\n

Once, a mother criticised me for not telling my children the exact process by which babies are made. But my kids were six and eight at the time, so why did they need to know what part of the body goes where and how? I don\u2019t lie to my children. If they ask me a direct question, like most parents I hope, I do one of four things: (1) tell them the absolute truth, (2) ask them a question back, (3) say I\u2019ll explain when they\u2019re older, or (4) all of the above. For instance:<\/p>\n

Absolute Truth<\/h3>\n

Brandan: \u201cMummy, what do they mean I need an operation?\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cThey mean you need to go to sleep in a room like a kitchen filled with televisions and bright lights, surrounded by people in white coats, net hats and masks over their mouths and noses. You\u2019ll breath in a special air through a tube and feel a bit sick and dizzy when you wake up. But it\u2019s all just to make you better.\u201d<\/p>\n

Brandan: \u201cWill you be there?\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cI\u2019ll be there as you fall asleep, and when you wake up I\u2019ll be right outside the recovery room, waiting to be let in. But they won\u2019t let me in until they\u2019re sure you\u2019re okay. Okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

Brandan: \u201cAha.\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll Tell You Later<\/h3>\n

Ophelia: \u201cMummy, how will that lady’s baby get out of her stomach?\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cI\u2019ll tell you when you\u2019re older.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ophelia: \u201cIs it through her bellybutton?\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cNo, some other way. It\u2019s really quite amazing. How about I tell you when you\u2019re twelve?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ophelia: \u201cTen.\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cEleven.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ophelia: \u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ask A Question Back<\/h3>\n

Brandan: \u201cMummy, do you believe in Santa \/ the Easter Bunny \/ Tooth Fairy?\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cWell, how else would the presents get here \/ would the eggs get in the garden \/ who else would take your tooth? Do you<\/em> believe in Santa \/ the Easter Bunny \/ Tooth Fairy?\u201d<\/p>\n

Brandan: \u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cThere you go then.\u201d<\/p>\n

All Three Options<\/h3>\n

Ophelia: \u201cMummy, what happens when people die?\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cThere are a few different theories. Some people believe nothing happens, others believe we turn into animals or babies again, others believe we go to heaven or hell. What do you think?\u201d<\/p>\n

Ophelia: \u201cUm, I\u2019m not sure.\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cWell, we can talk about it more as you get older and learn more about everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"ZenaShapter\"<\/a>In this way, I get to protect their imaginations and the possibility that magic exists\u2026 because for me it does. We create our own magic in life, and of course I use the magic of my imagination every day in my stories. Without it, how could I write\u2026 how could anyone write books \/ create movies \/ sing songs? The creative arts is an awesome industry to work in, and can be a lucrative career choice. My brother and I both earn a living from our imaginations, so why would I want to squash the imaginations of my children with too much reality?<\/p>\n

Of course I also value the frank and honest relationship I have with my children. They trust what I say 100% and I respect that, hence the absolute truth I do give them sometimes \u2013 be it about religion, evolution, poor countries and the children who live in them, war and violence, heartbreak, or old age. Children are impressionable and easily believe those they trust. The danger of disrespecting their trust is that when they discover the truth, they blame those they trusted for the deception. I don\u2019t want that to happen to me so this morning, despite wanting to keep the magic alive, I had to tell my daughter the truth about Spanish trees\u2026<\/p>\n

My husband had been walking around the house singing the 90s classic \u201cWe\u2019re Going to Ibiza\u201d by the Vengaboys, and he let the kids watch the song\u2019s music video, explaining that Ibiza was a party island for adults off the coast of Spain:<\/p>\n