Authors’ Tips on Handling Unpleasant Online Experiences

Last week, I asked how far you usually go to solve unpleasant experiences in your life. At what point do you let things go? Well, after I wrote that post, I wondered how other authors handle unpleasant online experiences and what, if any, advice they had for other writers. The two main unpleasant online experiences authors generally encounter are: trolls & bad reviews. So, here’s some tips from some author buddies of mine – some of which can apply to readers too:

Trolls

Trolls – they’re out to get you!

Trolls are internet users who just want to pick at you and make you feel bad about something. They can lurk anywhere and everywhere, and there can be no end to their abuse if you’re unlucky enough to interest them. I’ve seen it happen to author buddies and witnessed how much it upsets them. Since the sole intent of a troll is to provoke, “the only solution,” says travel writer Walter Mason, “is to block, delete and refuse to engage”.

“In my experience it is 100% effective. Starves them of oxygen. I have quite strict personal standards regarding speech, conduct and personal interaction, and I’m afraid I have a low tolerance for other people’s boorishness. Mostly I will give someone one chance (we all have bad days, or are intolerantly passionate about one particular subject), but two strikes and you are out. People are allowed to have opinions and express them, but I don’t have to listen to them or provide a platform for their propagation.”

David Henley of Seizure Online also blocks trolls:

“In the early days of Facebook everything was beautiful, and then the trolls came and began putting spam on walls and insults into comment threads. I remind myself that this stuff isn’t directed at me, it’s just the ignorati marking their territory. Simply ignoring these bullies doesn’t work so I obey Facebook law and immediately report any form of abuse. Anything even mildly racist, sexist or violent is reported and deleted – which keeps your page clear for the real users.”

Exactly. Not responding can be a challenge, because it feels unfair to be attacked and not defend yourself. But we owe it to those who follow us online to provide a happy environment in which we can interact. I love my fans and friends!

Bad Reviews

What are fireworks to some, are noisy pollutants to another.

Oh my gosh – I am so picky when it comes to choosing books to read! I often don’t enjoy stories that everyone else does, and I really try hard to like them too. I can’t of course, because I have my own history and experiences and love of stories, and that’s unique to me. It’s the same with you too, and reviewers and publishers alike. It’s a good thing really because differing personal taste is what enables such a broad spectrum of fiction to exist with success. Yay for diversity!

So when a reviewer or reader doesn’t like our writing – we authors must try not to get disheartened.

Of course there are exceptions to this. Walter Mason explains:

“One man gave me a bad review because he didn’t like fat people, and it was clear in my writing that I was fat. Now how am I going to refute that kind of logic? Just leave it and concentrate on those people who think I am fabulous. They, after all, are the smart and discerning ones 🙂 “

He he, I agree Walter – in life as well as in publishing!

That said, it can be really tough when you get a bad review:

“When the first one star review comes in,” says USA Today Best-Selling Author Kylie Scott, “it hurts. Your delicate little artistic feelings turn to depression and despair followed by the mother of all ranty rages. All of these feelings are valid. Taking to the internet to voice them to the masses, however, is dumb. The internet is not only instantaneous, but it is forever. You cannot control who sees what. So talk to your friends. Talk to a hedgehog. Wear someone else’s underwear if you think it will help. Don’t take it public. Whenever possible, keep your delicate little feelings in check and off the internet. The end.”

Great advice, Kylie!

“One thing I’ve come to understand about reviews,” says David Henley, “is that people want so many different things from books. One person says they don’t like something, another says they do. C’est la vie. The point is you can’t please everyone, and trying to do so will please no one.”

But you can learn from bad reviews, adds David, who recommends giving them…

“… just a glance over, to see how your work is being received. It shouldn’t begin to control your writing, but if an aspect of the work is being misperceived that is useful information. You never know, you might learn something.”

So, to summarise:

• ignore the trolls, block them, delete and refuse to engage.
• try not to get disheartened by bad reviews, in most cases it’s just personal taste. Learn what you can from them (if anything), then move on. As Kylie Scott says: “Had a review that hurt you bad? God gave us vodka to deal with just such situations.”
• care about the readers who love your work, who can’t wait to read the next thing you publish, who write lovely messages on your blog or Facebook page, or send you emails saying they really connected with your writing and just wanted to let you know. They’re the ones who matter – they’re your market.

Good luck, everyone! I hope this advice helps in some small way 🙂