Being Naked

Our old balcony.

Our old balcony.

A few years ago, my husband and I were living in a tiny unit with our two young kids, and it was bathtime. Our bathroom had so little ventilation that unless we left both the window and door open, mould would grow on the ceiling from trapped steam. While Hubbie bathed the kids, I was going to have a shower, so I explained the open door requirement to my mum and brother, visiting at the time from England, and they agreed to remain on the small balcony off our kitchen.

Or so I thought.

My brother clearly figured he’d do some work while we were in the bathroom, so took his laptop onto the balcony… not realising its battery was low in power. Of course his power cord was in the lounge and to reach it he’d have to pass the open – bathroom ­– door.

Our old bathroom.

Our old bathroom.

I was already in the shower at this point, immersed under a stream of yummy hot water, and I’m renowned in our family for being very quick to get ready, including having a shower. So do you think my brother waited five minutes until the coast was clear? Do you suppose he considered how embarrassed I’d feel if he saw me naked in the shower? Of course not! He’s a workaholic! So he dashed into the lounge hoping I wouldn’t notice.

But I did.

And I screamed.

I was horrified. I felt exposed. The steam probably cloaked me, and from memory he scuttled eyes-to-the-floor so he wouldn’t see anything (not that I’ve got anything to hide of course!), but I was still upset. Being naked is probably one of the most vulnerable states a person can be in (unless they’ve a loaded gun), second only to… writing.

Every time I send my writing out into the world I feel just as naked – which is strange… It’s strange because my characters are their own selves. Their adventures are not mine. And yet I feel as if I’m exposing myself, just as I did that day in the shower.

People say that writing is a business, and I agree with that on a certain level. Publishing is most definitely a business – buy, buy, sell, sell, what works, what doesn’t. Writing, however, is performed by artists and we are sensitive creatures offering our art up for others’ judgment and in doing so making ourselves vulnerable.

I took a risk that day when my brother and mum were visiting, a risk that they might not listen to my request to stay away from the bathroom for ten minutes. It didn’t pay off. Sending stories out into the world presents a similar risk – will readers hear the story I have to tell, or will their view of my world be blinkered? Writers never know unless they keep taking risks, so I suppose that makes us risk-takers. But why do we do it?

I can’t remember why I chose to have a shower that day when my brother was visiting, though in the end I know I definitely got what I wanted – I got clean! So what it worth the risk? Yes, because the end result made it so.

Is it the same with writing? Does the end result of sharing our stories with readers make the risk of being vulnerable and exposed worthwhile?

Of course it does.

That’s why we writers keep doing it 🙂

Zena Shapter

Zena Shapter writes from a castle in a flying city hidden by a thundercloud, reaching across age and genre into the heart of storytelling. A multi-award-winning author of speculative and contemporary fiction, she teaches writing at festivals, libraries and schools, judges various literary awards, mentors and edits other writers, and encourages everyone to value the importance of creativity. She loves movies, frogs, chocolate, and potatoes, though not at the same time!

4 Comments:

  1. I love this Zena – so honest and so true!!

  2. Hi Zena,

    What a great post! I’m sure so many writers will be able to relate to this! I think the same applies to simply telling people what you do, in addition to sharing your actual work. Personally, in the past I’ve felt instantly vulnerable when I say ‘I’m a writer’. Our profession is so often scoffed at or questioned – ‘But… how do you make money? How will you earn a living?’ were questions I often faced when I put myself and my occupation out there. However, in answer to your question – yes! It’s completely and utterly worthwhile. Without sharing my work, I wouldn’t be where I am today in my career, and more importantly, I wouldn’t have built up such an inspiring network of writer friends.

    I’d encourage all writers to embrace momentary vulnerability for their future happiness 🙂

    Thanks for your post!

    • Yes, I hear you Helen! No pain, no gain – I wouldn’t be where I am either without taking some risks and putting myself out there. Yay for risks*!

      *calculated and carefully considered of course 😉

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