As well as writing amazing stories (he he!), I run a full-time creative support business. It includes editing, mentoring, teaching, book layouts, and other publishing support for authors and publishers.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve edited so many manuscripts riddled with filter words it’s time to speak up. I say ‘riddled’ because filter words can act like an infection, festering away inside text and weakening stories. They can cause feelings of disconnection, sluggishness, swollen scenes, high word counts and a hot angry redness (as in ‘read-ness’ – ha ha!).
Definition
Filter words can include the following words, and any similar to them: see, smell, hear, touch, taste, know, be able to and experience. Writers often use the senses to immerse readers in experiences we’re describing; however, that doesn’t mean we have to label those experiences. For example, in this sentence ‘saw’ is a filter word:
She saw clothes swaying on the washing line.
Since we’re narrating from the perspective of pronoun ‘she’, we are already watching everything she sees – we’re in her head, or ‘point of view’, and experiencing everything she experiences. There’s no need to remind readers of this through labelling the experience with ‘she saw’. We can also delete ‘she saw’ without affecting the meaning of the sentence, so it becomes a more immediate and immersive experience for the reader:
Clothes swayed on the washing line.
Symptoms
The main thing filter words do is put a barrier up between reader and character (whether fictional in stories or non-fictional in narration). This barrier distances the reader, reminds them that they’re reading rather than experiencing a character’s journey, and reduces possibilities for connection that might otherwise form, preventing readers from caring about what they’re reading. Not good. They also add extra words to the text, which increases word counts and swells scenes with unnecessary wordiness. The result can be feelings of sluggishness and drag. Filter words ‘filter’ the reader’s involvement in the text. For example, let’s expand the above example:
She saw the front door ajar and wondered if she’d left it like that. She remembered rushing out of the house that morning late for work. As she thought back, unsure, she heard a chair scrape across the floorboards inside and realised… someone was in there.
Without the filter words, this scene would be less wordy and more immediate for readers:
The front door was ajar. Had she left it like that? She’d rushed out of the house that morning late for work, but couldn’t be sure. A chair scraped across the floorboards inside. Someone was in there.
Causes
Usually the cause of filter words is a simple lack of knowledge. Perhaps the writer hasn’t taken enough or the right classes on creative writing, perhaps they’ve never been edited or edited well, or perhaps they’re reading books also infested by filter words. Writing is continually evolving and so we write very differently now compared to thirty, fifty, a hundred years ago. Modern readers want to experience the journey being presented to them, they want to care and feel a connection. Luckily, as soon as most of my clients understand filter words, they usually treat their manuscripts easily enough, or get help.
Treatment
The basic treatment for filter words is: see a filter word – eliminate it! Here’s a more extensive list of filter words to search for:
- See: look, examine, inspect, note, spot, spy, notice, observe, realise, recognise, witness, behold, become aware of, detect, discern, distinguish, catch sight of, identify, perceive, appraise, sense, scope, watch, regard
- Hear: listen, catch, overhear, pick up, heed, make out, eavesdrop
- Smell: inhale, sniff, detect the smell of, draw in, diagnose, whiff
- Touch: feel, brush, caress, stroke, scrutinise, handle
- Taste: relish, savor, take pleasure in, enjoy, appreciate, delight in, enjoy, like
- Know: decide, discover, wonder, ascertain, fathom, assume, grasp, believe, bring to mind, deem, gather, get, glean, guess, infer, learn, remember, suspect, think, understand, comprehend
- Experience: can, permit, suffer, tolerate, be subjected to, face, stomach, go through, live through, take in, undergo
- Be able to: allow, manage, bear, capable of, equal to, up to the task, have what it takes to, stand
Mostly, filter words can simply be deleted. For example:
It felt like it weighed a tonne.
It weighed a tonne.
She watched him lather the soap into frothy white foam.
He lathered the soap into frothy white foam.
He saw a grenade fly by and land in the foxhole.
A grenade flew by and landed in the foxhole.
Sometimes a simple rephrasing is needed:
Kristina heard a loud scream in the darkness.
A loud scream pierced the darkness.
He saw his eyes rolling.
His eyes rolled.
Sometimes, however, the sentence will need completely rephrasing. For example:
He could only see a few metres above to where the room’s light reached.
The light from the room only reached a few metres above him.
Jane heard a shuffling sound, slowly getting closer.
A shuffling sound got closer and closer.
From the battlements he could still hear calls as guards screamed at him.
Guards screamed at him from the battlements.
And sometimes other techniques will be needed, such as internal dialogue or actual dialogue:
He wished he were back in the belfry, where he could see above the clouds and far across the land.
If only he were back in the belfry. Its cloud-high windows gave a view far across the land.
John stared into the water. The creek looked cold. He faced ice that was at least three inches thick. He felt his body shiver.
John stared into the creek. “Look at that ice. Must be at least three inches thick.” He shivered.
Of course the more filters words in a text, the more work it’ll be to fix them.
Exceptions
Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. Filter words needn’t be deleted if they’re critical to the meaning or purpose of a sentence/scene. For example, when the character is reflecting on or highly conscious of their experience, or are themselves distanced or distracted from the action – feeling faint, just waking up, in shock, falling unconscious or paralysed/drugged.
Everything was pitch black. Straps held him down. He heard heavy breathing, then a ‘click’ and a high-pitched whir, becoming as shrill as a dentist’s drill.
In this instance, the character is not in control. The filter word ‘heard’ helps communicate that experience for the reader. Since it has a purpose, it stays.
He doesn’t hear the corporal.
In this instance, the activity of ‘not hearing’ is critical to the meaning of the sentence. It too stays.
Similes and metaphors can also be exceptions:
It felt like his body was rising up from the table, floating higher and higher towards the stars.
Here, ‘felt’ is a filter word. However, since his body is not actually rising from the table, it’s necessary to give the sentence clarity and purpose. It also stays.
Filter words can also be used when writing in distant third person, a style specifically intended to maintain distance between character and reader.
Exercise:
Can you eliminate any filter words from this?
Mich heard screams come from within the battlements. He smelt burnt flesh, realised he might be smelling people he knew, and it made him feel sick. He tasted bile at the back of his throat. He remembered seeing someone earlier, walking through the streets, flaming torch in hand. He’d wondered why, when it was daylight. He looked up to search the sky, hoping to discover a trail of smoke. It seemed like forever before he found it, then suffered a flame of his own – anger. It felt like he was on fire, as dangerous as the smoke he saw winding up from the direction of his father’s workshop.
Questions?
Do you use filter words by conscious choice or mistake? Do you have any exceptions to share? Let me know in the comments below! Need editing help? Send me a message!
Great post!
Thanks Zoya! It’s a bit lengthy for me – but there was a lot to say!
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